We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
one might say we're banned from that church
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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