Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
