just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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