Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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