Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
