She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
How external is "for external use only"?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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