Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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