If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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