I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
