dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
