yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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