how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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