in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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