just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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