She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
