my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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