Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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