I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize