I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
