Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
