Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just invented taco cereal.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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