I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
