hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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