So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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