Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
