moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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