I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
