never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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