That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
