Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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