Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am one with the molecules
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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