there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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