Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
