I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will pee on everything he values.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
