is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
