she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
