I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
