It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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