Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
