no, he came in my armpit
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
