Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
