Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize