I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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