I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
