hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
