YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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