Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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