My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
