Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize