ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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