Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
