Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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