What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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