Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
