I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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