yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also, beer. Big fan.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
