We won't sleep together?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
