New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't think brook has ever known best
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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