Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
