I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
