Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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